A Hannibal fansong from the POV of Abigail Hobbs. Music and lyrics by me. Download available at sound-cloud source. :)

~

With closed eyes I
see the knife slide
faith born in lies
you empathize

but I know what the monster looks like
I have kept his belly full
I know what the hunter fears
We’re always hunted in our souls
I know what the monster looks like
My reflection tells me, so
special I expire daily
dime a dozen dark haired doe

Devils talk from both my shoulders, always othered, faded, cold
patiently my founding fathers hide my faults and fill my bowl
Picnic for three, my guardians and me 
one thinks that he’s a killer and the other made me tea
A monster and a madman and a doctor in psychology

leather and fur
use and honor
each part of her
but when’s my turn?

Is this what a family feels like?
With closed eyes, I see it all
the gutting hand, the cup of trust, 
the doleful eye, the chilling touch, 
the tailored suits, the scarf tied tight
my noose and I in the headlights

Devils talk from both my shoulders, who to trust and must I choose?
Understand, my founding fathers, what to honor, what to use
I bleach my bones and tan my hide, I braid my hair and eat my pride
I hammer my nails and hold my tongue, but it wont be enough, tonight.

Funeral for five, my guilt, my guile, my guardians and I

~

A few people have asked for it so here’s my “Ib” fansong. From Garry’s POV, very metaphorical and unpolished. But hey, enjoy. :)

~

I’ve been here before, but never with company

there’s beauty in the madness of someone else’s longing

to be seen, to not slip through the cracks,

to fall into the black and be alone forever

known by nobody

I had a dark dream and awoke to turn to tell it to a ghost

I put all my ghosts into my words, and then erase them ‘till their smoke

floats across my page, falls into my paints,

and lines my pockets of my coat

to haunt my lonely days.

and maybe we’ll both die, maybe I will die for you,

a little stranger in her Sunday best, but what else could I do?

to be anything but lonely’s worth a shot at being only

a forgotten portrait hung inside a gallery to view.

Rooms built of emotion, as awkward as a sonnet writ of stone

or even the comfort of someone like me who stumbles on their own

lack of common sense, a backwards, wrong-end mess dressed in shabby clothes, and who but you would be impressed?

What maniacal artist, cursed the canvas, dipped his brush in fate

and painted my face beside thinking I could guide you?

Obligation thoroughly dictates I stay sane in the face of rage

And so for your sake I’ll be brave, thank god you saved me.

and maybe there’s an exit, and it’s light is up ahead,

and maybe art for art’s sake only isn’t all that bad.

to be anything but useless, if there’s just a chance I’ll choose it

even if it means, consequentially, I’m doomed a muse instead

Or confined as a forgotten portrait hanging in your head.

~

A little something for a friend. Hope you have a great day, hun. :)

~

Avalon turns 13 today, and she might be young but she’s got a lot to say

her name is like a fairytale and her future is the same

sometimes its hard to see beyond the fog of the here and now, but it wont be long,

before the clouds part and they sing your song, the song I’m singing, Avalon

Avalon, there’s so much love and beauty here around you

take a breath and let it out, the difference will astound you

take it from me, and a billion “we”’s, I personally guarantee

that’s nothing’s ever quite as bad as it seems when you’re 13

Avalon is a girl I know, she’s a certified superhero

she’s got the stuff to conquer any challenge in her way

she growing up a little more with every step she takes for sure

and someday she’ll walk out her door and world will sing her name, and they’ll sing…

Avalon there’s so much love and beauty here around you

take a breath and let it out the difference will astound you

take it from me, and a billion “we”’s, I personally guarantee

that even when you are 13 you have the world under your feet,

a million blessings, food to eat, a place to sleep

a heart that beats, a mind that dreams

and there is nothing else you need, Avalon.

~

A fairly angsty and sad GamTav song from Gam’s POV, written for the winners of my Valentines Day shipping song contest! I’m the reason you can’t have nice things, sorry.

Download at Soundcloud Source. }:o)

~

Boy, you get my guts tied up in such a twisted noisy ruckus
Heaven sent that you are, wouldn’t lift a claw or cut me off ‘cause
Rambling as I ever am I shamble to your chair and stables
Watch you all enraptured as you shuffle cards and stutter fables

Break my habit, you’re my habit, I’d trade my limbs for one of you
Two legs for two lips, now I’d say that’s a fair trade, wouldn’t you?
Drop my habit, you’re my habit, I’d trade my habit to get you back and I’m
Like a fool without a calling, like a heartsick fool

Boy, you like to play the martyr, but if I pray a little harder
If I close the window and come back here when I’m not so sober
If I said it plainly not in riddle-rhymes, all cagey, 
Would you answer with a smile made of brackets or look at me strangely?

Break my habit, you’re my habit, I’d trade my limbs for one of you
Two legs for two lips, now I’d say that’s a fair trade, wouldn’t you?
Drop my habit, you were my habit, I’d trade my habit to get you back and 
It’s you and I again just writing, shiftless, click clack clicking, grinning 
Like a fool without a calling, like a heartsick fool

Boy, you’re on the floor and on my fingers, dripping from my kisses
Eyes so vacant, would you hate it, if I said you look delicious?
The laughter dies and rots inside me, brother, it is you all over
Stay beside me here and guide me, unrequited would-be lover

Took my miracle, you’re my miracle, I’d trade my brains for one of you
Two gods for two voices, I’d say that’s a fair trade, wouldn’t you?
Need a miracle, you’re my miracle, I’d trade a miracle to get you back and I’m
Left without a friend, soaked to the bone and backwards bent 
I’m seeing shades, screaming repent your sickness leave it here for lent 
Now witness, here, a fool without a calling! I’m a heartsick fool.
Still the fool without a calling, still a fucking fool.

~

A Vriska Fansong, frequently asked for long awaited haha. Not much else to say about this one. Download at Soundcloud source.

~

Once upon a time a stutter disgusted me, 
muttered distrust at me, pity you couldn’t fly.
I’ve only ever taken what’s mine,
So what if I help you, I’m helping myself, too?

Twice I got the wind knocked out of me, why?
Just to curl up and die? No, I’ve got too much pride.
So I breathe it in then let it out slow,
When I turn to go, find you trailing behind.

I fought for every last inch that I got
Forgive me for leaving my spot
Not standing in w8 while you finished the race 
with those two broken legs you’ve got.

One thing’s for sure…
If I were you I never would have let it stop me,
I never have before.
And if you knew what I went through while trying to get through to you, you’d thank me!

You’d get down on one knee, no matter how much it hurt
and you would say “I’m sorry”, but I would say it first…

Once, the two of us were eye for an eye
Now I’ve given up trying, how could I be so blind?
You’ll never let me settle the score
To you I’m the scourge, not the the partner in crime.

I fought for every last one of you schmucks!
I might as well have saved my luck
Not wasted it all on some shortsighted, know-it-all
so-called friends, you’re not.

One thing’s for sure…
If I were you I never would have let it stop me,
I never have before.
And if you knew what I went through while trying to get through to you, you’d thank me!

You’d find me in a dream, on some uncharted map
And I would say I’m sorry, and you would want me back…

Once the world was just a web and a spider, and so was I.
A liar in a dress of white.

~

My tracks “Renovation” and “Sucker Town”, are now available for purchase through bandcamp, as well as a brand new, never before heard song “The Sun”!

You guys have been so incredible and supportive, and I want you to know I will continue to make fanmusic, and that my fansongs will always stay downloadable for free, for those who cannot or do not want to buy them. :) I can’t thank you guys enough, or tell you how much your encouragement has done for me. I have literally never been more happy to be the person and artist that I am. Thank you. <3

~MY BANDCAMP WELCOMES YOU ALL WITH HUGS AND SWEET TUNES :D~

Chords to my trickster Jane song “Sweet” under the cut! Please read the entire post before sending an ask, and enjoy! :) (hopefully this formats correctly…)

Read More

An update fansong from Trickster Jane’s POV for your listening enjoyment. Download at soundcloud source. :)

~

Hello, my candy coated darling, it’s your vanilla baby
I’ve come to say I love you and I always have
I find it so amusing, I used to be confused and
afraid that you would never love me back

But now I see that we were always meant to be
you and me forever planting lots of family trees
counting out our children, half a zillion at least
we’ll name the boys for you and we will name the girls for me

Hello, the sour peach of my skin, the sweetest poison icing
so tasty it could rot your teeth and brain
The chaotic consumption, the diabetic gumption
to do a thing like make me go insane

and leave this plane of reality completely
float among the clouds of pink and blue cotton candy
let’s blast into space and race around like airplanes
spreading multicolored chem-trails, soda pop and acid rain

Feels so neat! Never wanna be myself again, I just wanna be SW—E—ET!
Feels so fun! Never wanna come back down…

Goodbye to heartbreak on my birthday, annoying boys who hurt me
with all the stupid things they do and say
I can’t even remember, what I was so upset for
Spun sugar melts in water anyway

So no more crying, dry those tears, I’ll end your pain
Soon you’ll feel the cherry syrup running through your veins
Heaven is a grinning face with not a trace of shame
Take a taste of every flavour, favour anything but plain

Feels so neat! Never wanna be myself again, I just wanna be SW—E—ET!
Feels so fun! Never wanna come back down….

~

A Beta Kids Christmas song, to celebrate reaching 5,000 followers. Happy Holidays, you guys rock. <3

Download at Soundcloud Source.

~

You call me down for Christmas cake
Although that’s not a thing, I sigh
but I take a plate, I take a bite
and the look that you give me is heavy with pride

You bring me sticks that you find in the wild 
and I count every one and then hang them 
over the fire with patterns of wire and bow 
then we roll on the carpet and howl in the snow

There is a place that I’m home
In condos, apartments, in suburbs and islands
there is a face that I know
and wherever it is I find that my Christmas isn’t cold

You wake me up by dumping presents 
on my bed and forcing my head 
into a hat that’s red and white, 
then it’s up to the roof for a snowball fight

You get the brandy and offer me some 
although we both know I’m too young 
and when I refuse you’re amused then pass out 
so I turn on the reruns and watch them with you on the couch

There is a place that I’m home
In condos, apartments, in suburbs and islands
there is a face that I know
and wherever it is I find that my Christmas isn’t cold
that my Christmas isn’t cold

It’s the end of the day and it’s way too late 
but I log in just to say “Hi!”
What’s up? What did you get? What was your Christmas like?

There is a place that I’m home
In condos, apartments, in suburbs and islands
there is a face that I know
and wherever it is I find that my Christmas isn’t cold
my Christmas isn’t cold (x6)
Ho, ho, ho…home.

A short, dark, lullaby from Alpha Rose and Alpha Dave’s POV. Gorgeous track art by Faun-Songs.

Download at Soundcloud Source. 

~

I’ll leave you my bottles, babe 
Ill wrap them in wool and lay 
them down in your crib 
I’ll miss what might have been 

I’ll leave you my swords and shades 
I’ll put all my good into one place 
and ironys aftertaste 
will rock to you sleep, my babe 

When you watch what we made for you 
when you see what we gave for you 
when you read between the lines you’ll find 
We waited our lives for you 

But in seconds my time will end 
I count every breath my friend 
and when space invades again 
we’ll light the way, my baby 

so when the light catches blade 
when the time comes, do not be afraid 
follow the path we’ve made 
follow the path we’ve made 

~